What No One Tells You About Childbirth

You can read books, watch videos, take classes, and basically immerse yourself in all things baby but nothing, and I mean nothing can truly prepare you for the experience of giving birth.

Of course, every woman responds to labor in her own unique way, and hopefully yours will be a BREEZE. But in the case that you experience birth like the rest of us, just remember when reading this that your body was designed for this.

I’ve created a list of things that no one really gives you a heads up about. Not to scare you but to hopefully give you a better idea of what to expect (women truly run the world!).


6 Surprising Things That Happen During Labor:


1. Holy Shit That’s A Lot Of Blood

There is an alarming amount of blood that seems to end up everywhere. Your nurses definitely have their work cut out for them with trying to keep your room from looking like a crime scene!


2. There Will Be Some Level Of Pain

There isn’t much that can prepare you for the level of pain you will feel. There are a ton of ways to help manage the pain during labor, but ultimately at some point (like when pushing the little human out of your vag part) you will feel the pain. Breathing through the pain is very helpful, but your body might feel like screaming through the pain is a better option – roll with it!



3. There Will Be Pressure In Your Anus

This pressure will have you telling your nurse that you need to go take the biggest shit of your life – which she will reply that, that is the baby’s head! You will feel a constant pressure back there for the whole duration of your labor, feeling the need to push something huge out of your behind. Some women do poop while in labor but no worries your doctor will be accustomed to it, just another part of the journey!


4. Burning Ring Of Fire

The burning ring of fire they said you will feel as you are pushing out the baby is a very real feeling. It is only relieved with the final push to get your babe into the world! Unfortunately no sexy firefighter with a fire extinguisher will put it out.


5. Fundus Massaging

Don’t let the whole massaging phrase fool you – there is absolutely nothing enjoyable about this part. This is a technique used to reduce bleeding and cramping of the uterus after childbirth. All I can say is your breathing techniques will come in handy!


6. Tearing From One End To The Other

Not tear as in crying,  though you will probably do that too. I mean tear as in you may rip from one hole to the other. That is called a 4th degree tear – which is the worse of the bunch. Your doctor may make an incision instead of letting you rip, some believe it helps the healing process. All in all getting stitched up in your lady bits is not at all fun so take it easy! Don’t try to run a 5k or anything. Focus on healing and of course cuddles with your little one!

Even though you will feel pain, wish your ass would explode to release the pressure, and never want your fundus massaged again, the feeling you will get when that tiny human enters the world is indescribable! In that moment you forget all you just endured and it is so worth it.


Happy birthing mamas, you have this in the bag!

Written by Whitney Rowley