Things I Swore I Would Never Do
I think it is very normal prior to parenthood to have these ideas of what type of parent you will be and what you will NEVER allow. Some of my favorites are, my kid will sleep in their own bed, they will never throw outrageous temper tantrums in the middle of the grocery store, and I will not let myself go. Turns out, parenting is harder than you ever imagined. You are now made up of 96% coffee, 2% dry shampoo and 2% hope. If you managed to live out all of your Mommy preconceptions – well congrats. Here’s a gold f!@#ing star. As for the vast majority of us, we learned very quickly that these were all delusions.
Here is the list of things I swore I would never do/allow but here I am:
I swore I would never let my kids sleep with me and my partner. But guess what? I’m tired. No tired is an understatement, I am exhausted. So by all means if they will hold still and be quiet just long enough to get some sort of sleep then by all means snuggle up.
Looking like a HOT mess in public
I always thought I would be the cute mom with a career and hobbies. The mom that looks like she has her shit together. Let me tell you how far off I was! On any given day of the week you can bet that my hair is dirty, in a super messy top knot, the only makeup I have on is leftovers from not washing it off days before, and my outfit is some sort of workout gear (even though its been months since I’ve been to the gym). My priorities have definitely shifted and finding a shirt without a stain on it isn’t one.
Becoming borderline obsessed with shit
But seriously. I have kept track of dirty diapers through an app in my phone. Compared colors, looked for seeds, mucus, blood streaks, even weighed a dirty diaper. Poop is life.
Treat a trip to Target as a night out
Forget trying the new restaurant or the yummy new happy hour everyone is raving about. Shopping ALONE is now one of my favorite activities.
Lose contact with my friends
You text me last week and I’m just now responding? You can literally see that I’ve read your Facebook Messages, but I have not yet responded? I can promise you that I am doing my best but my newborn has daily blowouts that can only be described as catastrophic. I’m busy. I want to call you. I would love to have a sit down conversation with you. The fact of the matter is, I suck at keeping in touch and I’m sorry.
I actively try not to judge other parents on their choices. As a mama I’ve done things I swore I wouldn’t do a couple of years ago. If you walk into the grocery store with a stained shirt, hair in a messy bun, a diaper bag, and a toddler with a cookie in each hand…all the power to you mama!