Kids TV Theme Songs That Drive Me To Day Drink

In the realm of parenting there are many things we may not all see eye to eye on but there is a few things I think we can all agree on, and one of them is that these kids songs that our crazy little humans adore, drive me BATSHIT CRAZY! Please tell me it’s not just me.

Here our the top contenders that usually have the honor of being the reason as to why wine is served at our lunch table.


You can skip out now… I won’t be mad. However if you stay, I can’t promise you that you won’t simultaneously burst out into songs that make you want to run to your liquor cabinet. You have been warned!


  1. Little Einsteins Theme Song

I feel a little pathetic admitting I hate the “Little Einsteins” I mean the show has a great story line, but after the 36th time I heard it something snapped inside my brain. Something very dark and sinister that made me want to reach through the television screen and choke the little plastic people.

  • Fruit Salad – The Wiggles

Actually scratch that… pretty much everything sung by the Wiggles. I appreciate that a bunch of semi attractive Aussies have made a killing off of prancing around singing kiddie tunes but for the sake of mine and every other moms sanity – no, just no. I can’t handle the fruit salad, cold spaghetti or any other food groups you want to sing about.

  • Backyardigans – Theme Song

Okay so this show is actually pretty cute, it encourages creative play and thinking that doesn’t involve your kid sticking their noses in an iPad for hours on end.

OH, BUT THE THEME SONG. The tune that opens this show is SO high pitched and honestly I can’t make out what they are saying other than “We’re the Backyardigaaaaaaaaans”. All I know is it makes me want to run and hide in the bathroom with a whole bottle of wine and a bag of Doritos.


  • “Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog” – Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

This Mickey Mouse Clubhouse isn’t exactly what we grew up on but it is a cute show. The club house is pimped out and actually morphs out of the ground – shit is crazy.  

Anyways, the “Hot Dog Song” is the background tune that signals the end of the show. It isn’t so bad until you are singing it down the isles of the grocery store, while people are looking at you like you have actually lost it.


  • Dora Dora Dora the Explorer

Dora seems to be universally loathed by parents. Maybe it’s because she hangs out with a monkey? Maybe it’s because she won’t shut the hell up about her backpack? Maybe it’s because she’s so annoyingly perky? Maybe we will never know?

The opening song for Dora the Explorer sticks in my brain like no other kids song. Just a couple of notes and it’s all over for me, I’m mamboing around my house like I’m determined to win first prize in a dance-off.

If you have made it through this blog post without humming one of these songs against your will, congratulations. I guess even though we may not dig these tunes, our kids love them and if their happy we are happy!

If you need me I will be refilling my wine glass and practicing my dance moves to the Dora song on repeat in my head. Cheers!

Written by Whitney Rowley