I Don’t Want To Shit On My Baby

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This might not have even crossed your mind, but let me tell you…I did NOT want to shit on my baby. I remember crying to my boyfriend one night saying “I don’t want the first thing to happen to my baby is me shitting on him!”. Of course he just giggled and told me everything would be fine.

Here are five things I later learned at my prenatal classes.


1. It is less likely to happen if you go into labor on your own. You will often clean yourself out during early labor at home. If you come in for an induction, you miss out on that luxury of cleaning out your system.


2. Doctors used to order enemas. You don’t want that!! It doesn’t help and it actually makes labor harder. Your doctor most likely won’t even offer it. They might even laugh if you bring it up.


3. It is humanly impossible to clench JUST the poop-exit area. You’ll be working twice as hard to push and clench…it will get weird. Average pushing time on your first baby is 2 hours. You don’t need anything prolonging labor. Just push that baby out!


4. It’s what they do. They clean-up poop, and vomit, and urine, and blood. The nurse will stick a cloth there and clean you up regularly. It is NOT a big deal. Your doctors and nurses will be cheering you on, it means you are pushing from the right place.


5. If you do (and frankly, the majority do) no one will ever talk about it. If they do, you need to question your relationship with them. 


When the time comes, this will be the last thing on your mind. All you need to focus on is getting this baby out. The rest will figure itself out! That’s the poop Mama! Xoxo

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Written by Whitney Rowley