How To Overcome The In-Law Tirade

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What To Do When The In-Laws Are Just Too Much

Advice from your in-laws can be overwhelming. When you are a new mom it can be irritating and make you extremely annoyed.

The first 6 months of my baby’s life I felt annoyed every time my sister-in-law and mother in-law would suggest that I needed to start my child on formula or start pumping more so they could give my child a bottle. I totally get that they wanted to bond with him but they didn’t realize there were other ways to bond and that it was making more work for me, not to mention they knew I wanted to exclusively breastfeed. Why should I go above and beyond for them when they only saw him maybe once a month?

 These are the type of in-laws that come over to your house and leave a mess and don’t pick up their food or drinks before they leave. They even had the nerve to make a huge dinner at my house just days after I had come home from the hospital with my brand new baby. They left all the dishes and counters and pans for me to clean. It took me a week to get everything back in order and clean again.

 My in-laws also told me not to hold him so much or I would spoil him. They said I needed to take him out of the house more so he could meet people and not be scared of strangers. They told me I need to let him feed himself at 6 months and I wasn’t giving him enough tummy time. I also wasn’t letting him cry enough.

  They kept giving me all this advice that wasn’t wanted or needed. They told me to do things that were against everything I read or what my baby’s doctor advised. They would get upset that I wasn’t doing it their way and then would go to my husband and tell him to tell me to do it their way.

After 6 months of being berated by them I finally broke down to a friend. We had a long talk and she kicked some sense into me. She told me a few things that have stuck with me and that I believe will help others.

  1. It is YOUR baby & family
  2. You are the authority in YOUR home
  3. It is okay to be whatever mom YOU want to be
  4. Stick up for yourself & how you want to parent your child.

I don’t know why it all of the sudden it made sense to me. I had told myself these things before. But that day I vowed to set boundaries for my own mental health and for the safety and well being of my child. Although I get still get very frustrated when they try to give advice, I now have the courage to tell them it is not the way I will be parenting my child and I leave it at that.

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Written by Whitney Rowley